- April 10, 2017
- CLLB Law
April 14th: — the day President Lincoln was shot in Ford’s Theatre; the day the Titanic hit that iceberg; and the day when ex-spouses are encouraged to remember each other. While relationships can sometimes feel like a disaster, the Reverend Ronald Coleman of Kansas City, Missouri, created National Ex-Spouse Day as a day for healing. He intended that people who were going through or had gone through divorce set aside some time to let go of any negative feelings they had toward their former spouse. That process could be coupled with symbolic gestures such as deleting those upsetting old emails or texts, returning (or disposing of) items that belong to your ex, or journaling about your emotions to clear your mind. Although being pessimistic can seem fulfilling, research has shown that a better attitude can lead to a higher quality of life.
There is no shortage of divorced couples out there to observe the day. Statistics show that 10 percent of the U.S. population is divorced; as many as 50 percent of first marriages end in divorce; and the divorce rate for second marriages is no better. Of course, not all former spouses continue to clash after splitting up. In fact, some get along with each other much better once the break has been made and the stresses of married life are over.
Wherever you fall on the spectrum, consider making a list of your ex’s best qualities. There had to be something that you once found special about that person, and a lot of healing can come from recognizing the existence of those traits. This can be especially important if there are children involved. Even the happiest of marriages struggle at times with raising kids. Doing so with someone you actively dislike can seem to be impossible. Try to focus on the children and be civil to your ex. Cooperation on core matters such as education, medical care, religion, and extracurricular activities can go a long way toward helping the kids navigate life between two households. Custody and visitation are two of the most contentious issues when marriages end, so any collaboration that happens is worth celebrating!
Divorce is typically a painful experience, but it can be what some families need in order to move on. Ending a stressful relationship can be very freeing and teach a number of valuable lessons. While that might not be a reason to send your ex a greeting card, just a few positive thoughts on April 14th can help your karma and your personal growth – both worthy goals.
If you have any questions about this topic, you can find out more by discussing it with one of the Indiana divorce attorneys at Church, Langdon, Lopp, Banet Law. Whether you are contemplating a divorce or considering a change in custody or support, we have years of experience helping people and we can help you. Based in New Albany, Indiana, we proudly serve communities throughout Kentucky and Indiana including, but not limited to, Jefferson County, KY; Floyd County, IN; Clark County, IN; and Harrison County, IN. Contact us by calling (812) 725-8224 or using our online form.